rain

pathetic fallacy beneath desks behind eyes behind clouds and smiles where shadows lurk creatures whisper damn i'm supposed to be listening what was that sorry won't happen again role call is that what the Americans call it hyperactive manic mind bruise-eyed not-quite-adults stupid grins motivationless meanwhile i slide through glass and manmade rivers the canals are freezing is this the all time low is it these stars is it these scars that are my last that were my first blind blind blind blink away tears the rain makes me feel alive so so alive damn lost the conversation oh we're talking about rain she says it makes her miserable it makes him angry but the rain is so very beautiful reflections of water and headlights and stop saying like oh tornado here we are again some nights i am cold and thin full of skinny thoughts echoing lost songs and sighs where figures dance to the light of the moon like the fable says hurricane hearts are blown apart by the storm.

even you

clockwork heart
beating
in the night
not silent
i want my machinery to stop
click and clack into stillness
i want my heart to beat
on its own
without cogs and twirling metal
more than i've ever wanted
anything.
even you.

new year

new year
a new beginning
and I have to remember when i write the date
new start
new life -
no,
it's not a new life.
it's the same old one
transplanted into another time
and as we waited
bated breath
glasses ready to clink
for some it was already time to wake
time to live.
live well.
live happily.
live.